What To Do Before You Leave Your Church
There is a very helpful article today on the Gospel Coalition about things you should do before you leave your church. I’ve known many people who have left churches for no apparent reason, and it is something that needs to be very carefully thought through.
Posted by mikethestrand on November 19, 2013
https://pastormikesmusings.com/2013/11/19/what-to-do-before-you-leave-your-church/
One of the most difficult things for me about turning 25 was realizing all the unmet expectations I had. Yet as I’ve learned over the past few weeks and years leading up to this birthday, God is still at work in the mundane, seemingly trivial matters of life as I strive to daily become more like Christ.
As I talk to many 20 something’s about where we are in life, there seems to always be a bit of restlessness and discontentment, and that happiness is ever eluding us, like the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Even my leaving minneapolis for my “dream job” had a certain amount of discontentment as I was leaving so a many good friends for the wild, Wild West.
There’s a certain allure that comes from being in your 20s with your “whole life ahead of you” (as some people in the church have commented to me). Yet there’s also a great deal of loneliness as most 20 something’s have a very transient lifestyle, and many of us are always looking for something new to do and try and experience, whether that’s a new country, new church, or new bar on the other side of town. We all have great dreams and ambitions to be a world changer and are convinced that we could fix so many problems, if only we were in charge! I look at people like Francis Chan and David Platt who get to travel the world spreading the Gospel. And Mark Driscoll who planted one of the most successful churches in America, and then I look in the mirror and ask what about me?
Can I be next?
Can I write the next New York Times best seller?
Can I preach to thousands of people?
Can I record the next big album?
Yet as I sit here wallowing in self pity, I’m reminded that it’s not about me. I need the daily reminder to die to myself. I need to remember that I’m representing Christ to the world where I live. My sphere of influence may not be as big as the people I look up to, but I still have the people at church that I see every week. How can I, as John the Baptist said, decrease so that Christ can increase?
In Matthew 25, Jesus tells the story of a man who went on a journey, entrusting to each of his servants a certain number of talents. When the man returns from his journey, those who grew their talents were rewarded, while the one who hid his talents was cast out into darkness.
I can’t, and I shouldn’t try, to be the next Francis Chan, David Platt, or Mark Driscoll. I should try to be the best example of Christ that I can be, ever decreasing so that Christ may increase in me and through me.
Posted by mikethestrand on November 12, 2013
https://pastormikesmusings.com/2013/11/12/lower-your-expectations/
A couple years ago Jeff Bethke broke on the scene with his viral YouTube video ‘Why I Hate Religion But Love Jesus‘ which has since racked up over 26 million views. This led to him being a pretty hot commodity in the Christian community and has given him quite the opportunity to share the Gospel. One of the ways he has worked the spread the Gospel is through the book “Jesus > Religion” which came out last month.
In an open, real and gritty look at his life, Jeff shares his struggles with God, but also how God has continued to reveal himself to Jeff throughout his difficult life, and with chapter titles like ‘Will the Real Jesus Please Stand Up?” I found myself chuckling but also very much relating to the themes Jeff addresses. When the video first came out there was a bit of discussion from within The Gospel Coalition circle on if Jesus really does hate religion. So aside from that, I really enjoyed the book. (But when Lecrae writes the intro to the book, it’s hard to not look forward to it)
One of the toughest chapters for me to read was the 4 chapter, “Religion Makes Enemies/Jesus Makes Friends.” This chapter deals with divisions in the church which is one of the issues that I face on a regular basis. The main issue he addresses is homosexuality. Only he doesn’t address it from a hypothetical perspective, but from a personal perspective. His mom was openly gay, and he struggled with how he should interact with her as a Christian.
In this chapter was one of the most profound statements in the book. Jeff says,
Last time I checked, I was my own worst enemy. No one has caused me more grief, pain, or heartache than I have. The Bible rarely tells me to fight against someone who doesn’t believe what I believe, but it frequently tells me to fight against my sin and the disease that’s drawing my away from Jesus.
The whole book is definitely worth reading, and one I would recommend for church small groups/missional communities. At the end of each chapter is some questions to work through the material in a practical way. This makes applying the book a very simple process. I’d keep it on your shelf and loan out on a regular basis.
I’d also check out Tim Challies’ review of this book.
Posted by mikethestrand on November 6, 2013
https://pastormikesmusings.com/2013/11/06/is-jesus-greater-than-religion/
Last month was a big month for me, as I hit the quarter century mark. Yes, that’s right, I’m 25. I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling 25. Turning 25 was incredibly difficult for me because it meant letting go of a number of childhood dreams I’d had of doing before I was 25. I’m not married. I don’t have kids. I haven’t even started seminary. I haven’t written a book. I’m not on the “speaking network” for pastors. I haven’t become a world traveler. I’m simply me. God’s taken me turning 25 to show me some things about me and I’ve had to face some things that haven’t necessarily been easy.
This hit home for me when I read the story of Jim Elliot’s brother, Bert. Yes, the Jim Elliot who was a missionary and was killed by the people he was trying to bring the Gospel to. Did you know he had a brother? I didn’t! But Bert has been a missionary with his wife in Peru for most of his life. He’s now in his 80s, has planted over 170 churches and is still serving. In his words, “My brother Jim and I took different paths. He was a great meteor, streaking through the sky.” But,
Bert was not. He did not go streaking through the sky. Nobody lined up with their telescopes to watch his life. Instead, as Alcorn puts it, he was the faint star in the distance that faithfully rises night after night, always there. Always faithful. Always doing the same, boring thing.
Will I be content to be a faint stay in the distance, faithfully rising night after night? Whose glory am I truly seeking, man or God. Do the songs I help us sing every week, the children I hug, the grandparents I talk to have an everlasting impact for God’s kingdom. I sure hope so, because the kingdom I try to build doesn’t last very long. I hope in another 25 years to look back to today and know I was a faithful star rising night after night and pointing to the Son in everything I do.
Posted by mikethestrand on November 5, 2013
https://pastormikesmusings.com/2013/11/05/growing-old/
As many people have said before me, divorce has become so commonplace that pretty much everyone expects to get divorced at some point in their life. Those who were willing to enter into a covenantal with each other seem all to ready to break that covenant as soon as things get more slightly more difficult. I fear in our attempt to chase after the ever elusive “easy life” we have done away with hard work and commitment to anything. We don’t want to be unnecessarily tied down to one place (which is why so many people my age either don’t work or work at Starbucks). We don’t want to be accountable to anyone (which is why so many people jump around from job to job). And we feel like we don’t need anyone else around us to help us through life (which is why we don’t get involved in a church). And for those that do get involved in a church, they typically remain only as long as that church agrees with them without expecting too much from them (which is why people refuse to become members of a church). I worry that the divorce culture has entered in to the culture of the church, and at the drop of a hat, we are willing to divorce ourselves from the church that we have committed ourselves to.
One of the first questions to ask is why do we even have church membership? Is there a difference between being a member and just going to a church? In a word, yes. Kevin DeYoung has an excellent post about it at his church’s website, but he boils it down to 5 basic points:
The last point is the one that people seem to take far too carelessly.
When someone commits to a church, that are committing to grow, serve, give and contribute to the life of the church for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, from this day forward until death do us part. If you’ve ever been to wedding before, that last part should sound familiar to you. Similarly to enter into a wedding covenant, entering into a church membership covenant isn’t something that should be taken lightly. With all the divorce happening in the culture around us, we should be even more adamant about sticking to our commitments. Yet I’ve found already in my 2 years of ministry that people take church membership far too lightly. We often have trouble getting a quorum at our annual meetings, some members have left the church instead of sticking around and working things out, and some people who are members don’t even come to church! I think it’s time for those who are in the church to make a commitment to their church and be willing to stick with them no matter what happens!
Does this mean there’s never an appropriate time to leave a church? Absolutely not. Just as in a marriage, there are times where you should not stay married (unfaithfulness, abuse). If a church begins to teach things contrary to Scripture, don’t stay there! But if it’s simply because you don’t like someone or something in the church, then stick around and make it better. The church isn’t meant to be full of consumers, but givers. What’s the last thing you’ve done that has given back to your church? In his book ‘What is a Healthy Church Member?‘, Thabiti Anyabwile says, “The health of the local church depends on the willingness of its members to inspect their hearts, correct their thinking, and apply their hands to the work of the ministry.” If we had more people who were willing to do that, I think we would have much healthier churches who are on mission for Christ and living “in complete harmony with each other, as is fitting for followers of Christ Jesus” (Romans 15:5). So find a good church, get plugged in, become a member and be willing to work through whatever comes with them. If you can’t find such a church, maybe it’s time for you to start making a difference in the church you’re already in. If something isn’t working like it should, maybe, just maybe God has brought you to that church to help promote a healthy, Christ-centered church.
“Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it”
-1 Corinthians 12:27
If you’d like to learn more about this I’d suggest checking out the following books:
Posted by mikethestrand on October 7, 2013
https://pastormikesmusings.com/2013/10/07/divorcing-the-church/
I often read about ‘Christians’ who continually bash those who aren’t in the same camp as them. Complementarian, or egalitarian, cessationist or continuationist, calvinist or arminian, and the list goes on and on. Or even worse, when ‘Christians’ begin picketing different functions and telling the world that “God hates fags.” I often feel the need to apologize to those who aren’t in the church for the way Christians often behave. As Ghandi supposedly said, “I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.” While this statement rings true for everyone else, have you ever looked in the mirror and thought about it for you? According to dictionary.com, a hypocrite is: “a”a person who pretends to have virtues, moral or religious beliefs, principles, etc., that he or she does not actually possess, especially a person whose actions belie stated beliefs.” So in that case, yes. I am a hypocrite, and will continue to be a hypocrite until I die. Paul said in 1 Corinthians 11:1, “Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ.” It’s not just a blanket statement to follow him no matter what, but to imitate him as he imitates Christ! I pray this regularly for those I lead in youth group and on the music team. There are so many areas in my life that I need God to constantly refine.
In this same vein, I just read an article on Relevant titled ‘Should We Apologize for the Church‘ that asks this very same question. We need to admit to our own faults and confess that we are just as much a sinner as “those Christians” who only listen to “Christian” music or only wear skirts, or picket different events. We are all sinners in desperate need of a Savior. We need to regularly confess of our sin, pray for the strength to not sin again and continue to become more like Christ.
Posted by mikethestrand on October 3, 2013
https://pastormikesmusings.com/2013/10/03/im-sorry-thats-not-me/
Last week in my regular blog readings, I stumbled across an article titled ‘Notifications are of the Devil.‘ Citing a few different studies, the writer of the blog said that we are wired to constantly be interrupted. Anytime our phone goes off we almost instantaneously check it. And why is there a compulsive urge to check it? “Recent studies show that the same neurotransmitter that fuels many other chemical addictions also is released when you get a notification from a text, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, email, etc.”
So what did I do in response to this? I turned off all notifications on my phone. I have found myself much more able to focus on the tasks at hand and much less prone to worry about what’s going on in the social networks. I have started to enjoy the things I’m doing much more because I’m not trying to double time on either of them. Overall, it’s been an incredibly rewarding experience in which I am incredibly grateful to be rid of that chain. How do you keep your phone in check?
Posted by mikethestrand on October 1, 2013
https://pastormikesmusings.com/2013/10/01/divorcing-my-phone/
I got and read Kevin Deyoung’s new book yesterday, Crazy Busy: A (Mercifully) Short Book About A (Really) Big Problem which has since then dropped in price to $7.99. This is a very quick read, which is really helpful when I’m so busy!
The book is broken up into 3 main parts: the problem plaguing many in the Western world today (being too busy), followed by 7 plagues of busyness, and finally, a “what now?” conclusion chapter. The introduction set the stage for this current dilemma with some very helpful questions (like “Do you check work e-mails and phone messages at home?”) as well as some statistics that I had often pondered but never had concrete answers to (like the fact that our annual hours have increased from 1,716 in 1967 to 1,878 in 2000, which is an extra hour every day compared to the British, and 2 more hours a day than the Germans and Italians).
The meat of the book are 7 diagnoses Kevin suggests we need to use to self-evaluate. The most impactful for me were chapters 5 – ‘You Can’t Serve Others without Setting Priorities’ and 7 – ‘You Are Letting the Screen Strangle Your Soul.’ I far too often just say yes to everything that comes my way, and while this can be for very good things, is it always the best use of my time? Absolutely not! Kevin says, “Efficiency is not the goal. But if Jesus is any example, God does expect us to say no to a whole lot of good things so that we can be freed up to say yes to the most important thing he has for us.” I know for many people in my generation (early 30s even in to high school) the threat of technology invading our lives is a constant struggle. Even during youth group I see a majority of the students on their cell phones (always in their Bibles, right?). I just this week turned all the notifications off on my cell phone which has honestly been such a burden lifted off me (I’m planning to blog on that later).
The final chapter, while very good, seemed to be adding just one more mandate onto an already busy life – the need for prayer and devotions. While I agree this is something that needs to be the utmost priority in our lives, I don’t think it should be because we need to, but because we want to spend the precious time in communion with our God.
While this is a very good book about the busyness of our current lives, it felt a bit unfinished to me. As Kevin admits in the beginning of the book, “I’m writing this not because I know more than others but because I want to know more than I do.” David Murray has written a very good addendum to this book with some practical steps people can implement in their own lives in order to get rid of some of the busyness in their own lives.
“A man may preach from false motives. A man may write books, and make fine speeches, and seem diligent in good works, and yet be a Judas Iscariot. But a man seldom goes into his closet, and pours out his soul before God in secret, unless he is serious.”
-J.C. Ryle ‘A Call to Prayer‘
Posted by mikethestrand on September 26, 2013
https://pastormikesmusings.com/2013/09/26/are-you-crazy-busy/
A great piece on humility verse self-esteem.
I have no self-esteem. If you asked me to rank the people for whom I have the highest esteem, I doubt I’d make the top 20 of my own list. Maybe I could crack ten thousand, but I keep meeting or reading about people who are better than me in so many ways, consequently I plummet further down the charts. I’m actually very happy about this, luckily I’m not the best thing that humanity has ever produced, and God help us if all the better people die off and leave me at the top of the heap.
That said, I don’t dislike myself, I don’t have a problem with my self-image, I don’t have low self-esteem. I’m saying I have NO self-esteem, for the same reason that I have no pet unicorns. Self-esteem is a nonsensical fantasy. It’s a false Gospel. It’s a meaningless fabrication that exists only in your…
View original post 1,996 more words
Posted by mikethestrand on September 25, 2013
https://pastormikesmusings.com/2013/09/25/narcissism-was-a-bad-thing-until-we-started-calling-it-self-esteem/
I often feel a certain amount of discontent as I see people I was once close to in college doing really cool things like shooting music videos, or creating incredibly detailed websites, or taking cool hiking adventures, or having babies. Often this is combined with a slight twinge of jealousy as I look at my life and ask, “What the heck am I doing?” I think often I have a huge desire to do something new and exciting just for the sake of the experience. This article reminded me that there is a certain amount of romance in the monotony of life.
Posted by mikethestrand on September 24, 2013
https://pastormikesmusings.com/2013/09/24/the-romance-of-domesticity/
Pastor Mike's Musings 