Matt. 5:21-26, 18:15-20; Rom. 12:9-18; Titus 3:8-11; 1 Thess. 5:12-22

-Our world today seems to be dividing and fracturing at an ever-increasing rate. Fighting seems to be the new normal both online and IRL, and I think that COVID exacerbated these divisions. We forgot how to disagree, we forgot how to be charitable, and the church unfortunately wasn’t immune from those same issues. Masks became symbols of either oppression or freedom, medical choices became markers of orthodoxy, and meeting together in person determined your entire political ideology (at least that’s what I was told from someone). An articlefrom 2018 found that political disagreements made Thanksgiving meals shorter by anywhere from 30-50 minutes. I know 2018 feels like yesterday, but that’s 8 years ago now, I would have to guess the problem is worse today.

-Does anyone know why I took this selfie, or the significance of that pub behind me? That is the pub where a group called “The Inklings” met, CS Lewis and JRR Tolkien would gather there regularly to share their writings and discuss various books or other things. Another one of the people there was George Watson who said Lewis taught him the art of disagreement: 

-We, as a church, largely do this well! Which is why this is timely to talk about this: a good time to talk about disagreeing is before it happens, so that when it does happen you’re all on the same page.

-Remember to text in questions, and today we’ll have a live answering time at the end of the sermon. I’m just going to give you a waterfall of passages because I want the weight of God’s call to land on us this morning. Once we’ve gone through these texts, Micah’s going to share with us from a counselors perspective, and then Phil will join us both for some live Q&A to end this series!

PRAY

1. The Final Apologetic:

-Francis Schaeffer said the final Christian apologetic is found in John 13, they’ll know we’re Christians by our love for each other (John 13:35). The world is said to judge whether or not we’re Christians by our love for each other. I believe that the only way to push through disagreement is if you love someone, and specifically love them enough to deal with issues together.

-If we’re saved, there are implications for our lives, which means there are things in our lives that we’ll need to change. There are many lists in the NT of character traits that we’re supposed to take on, I want to look at just 1 of them from Rom. 12, and I love the way the CSB titles this section: Christian ethics. There are a number of things for us to take away from this text, but do you see how it begins with love? Let love be without hypocrisy, or some translations say let love be genuine or sincere, and not only be genuine and real, but we’re also commanded to love each other deeply, like family. That’s why I will often talk about us being a church family.

-Take the lead in honoring. (some translations: outdo one another). What do you think that would look like? It certainly wouldn’t mean you always assume the worst about a fellow Christian! I heard a pastor onetime say this is the only place where Christians should be competitive! Don’t let someone else outdo you in showing honor!

-Bless those who persecute you: if someone is speaking bad about you, what’s your response? To look to bless them! This isn’t where we’re supposed to outdo each other!

-Rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep. Friends, come as you really are here with all the joys and sorrows at once. Story of our miscarriage.

-Live in harmony: what does that look like? As a musician I like that idea: harmony is what makes music interesting, different but complementary notes. Same in the church: difference is what makes the church interesting. 

-Finally, vs. 18: As much as you can, live at peace. What is your impulse when some wrongs you? One of the commitments I’ve tried to make in ministry is that when someone has an issue with me that I’m made aware of, I will move toward the person and the situation – within reason! I’ve had to learn that I can’t be everyone’s best friend (trust me, that’s been a long hard lesson!). 

-Here’s part of the difficulty in loving someone when it comes to a disagreement, in Eph. 4:15, Paul says we’re to speak the truth in love, which is hard to do! People tend to either just “love” or just speak the truth, it’s hard to find that line!

-Tim Keller quote. Since we’re in Christ and supposed to be like Him, this is supposed to be true of us too: speaking the truth in love to each other

• The Unity of the Spirit 

-One of my weekly prayers for our church is Eph. 1:3, which is way we’re commanded to walk worthy of our calling. It means we need to make EVERY effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.

-Unity, not uniformity. Where’s the fun if everyone is exactly the same? The fact that we have different passions interests and gifts means we all have something new we can learn! People are endlessly fascinating if you just take the time to sit down and listen and ask good questions of them. But it takes work!

-Jesus also gave us instructions for how we’re supposed to approach conflict. One of the most quoted passages that we need to look at in relation to this is Matt. 18, the church discipline passage. But 1 preliminary remark before we look at it: the goal of each step in this process is reconciliation and restoration, not penalization. 

-Begins 1 on 1. If someone sins against you – not just hurts your feelings, although to keep the relationship solid, you should also share if your feelings are hurt. But friends, be quick to overlook offenses, and always assume the best!

-Then it moves from there to bringing someone else in (again: if it’s sin). But do you see this move is ONLY after you’ve gone to the person you’re having an issue with? How quickly do people jump to talking to other people BEFORE they’ve talked to the person?

-One additional step that can be taken, and most churches I’ve been a part of have practiced discipline this way, is before it’s brought to the whole church, it’s brought to the elders for 1 last attempt at restitution.

-Then, it’s presented to the whole church. And one note on this: again, this isn’t punitive, we’re not just trying to air someone’s dirty laundry, but if a process gets to this point, we’re (rightly) questioning that person’s salvation. The church is called to be holy, we can’t let sin go unchecked in our midst. 

-Another note, how does the text say to treat this person? Like a Gentile or a tax collector, aka an enemy. But how does Jesus tell us to treat our enemies? To love them! So we don’t ignore someone under discipline, but we do treat them like an unbeliever, which means we look to share Jesus with them so that they can be restored! Which means if we ever get to this place as a church, and that person repents, we welcome them back with open arms.

-Binding and loosing is what’s given to the church, this is related to the affirming or denying someone’s salvation. Now, that can be taken too far as RCC has done, but there is a role for the church to play in recognizing when someone is saved (baptism, the Lord’s Supper, membership). If someone acts like an unbeliever, the church should treat them like one. We should not be more gracious than God, if we refuse to hold others accountable for their actions, we’re disobeying God.

-2 or 3: church discipline

-But Jesus also tells us that not only is it on us to call out someone else’s sin when we’re the one sinned against, we’re also supposed to go to someone else when they’re upset with us! This passage begins with a matter of the heart. Murder doesn’t come from nowhere, it comes from a heart that hates others, which means we need to be very careful in how we think about and talk about others, we need to keep short accounts. This says that our relationships with each other have a higher priority than our worship. If we come to worship God but have grudges against other people in the body of Christ, we’re supposed to stop worshipping and start reconciling! 

-Next: Titus 3: in this text, we see what we’re supposed to devote our lives to: good works. This isn’t a works-based salvation, but when we’re saved we’re saved SO THAT we can do good works. 

-As far as disagreements, this text tells us there are some things that aren’t even worth having a disagreement about, Paul calls them “foolish debates” here, things that don’t affect the gospel. For example, there was a guy at one church I served that claimed to have determined the day Jesus was coming back based on his study of astrology (stars). If my memory is right, we all missed it, because it was supposed to be last October. Sometimes debates can be fun, but don’t use that as tools to tear down others or divide the church. Another one Paul talks about is “matters of the law” – our job isn’t to hold others accountable for our convictions. Here’s one from my life: what school should Christians send their kids to? Or can Christians watch movies? If they can, what rating do they need to be below? Friends, there’s lots of room for different approaches to some of these ways of living that don’t slide into sin!

-Paul uses the same approach that Jesus used: warn them once, warn them a second time, and then treat them as an unbeliever.

-In his commentary on this section, Bob Yarbrough helpful summarizes: That’s supposed to be descriptive of us: we’re supposed to be the peacemakers.

-The final passage we’ll look at today is from 1 Thess. 5.

-First, one way of ensuring unity is by recognizing and affirming leaders in the church. Similar to what we saw last week from Heb. 13:17. That is one way that we are able to “be at peace together”

-We’re also exhorted to work at helping each person based on what they specifically need. We see 4 different things here: warn the idle, comfort the discouraged, help the weak, and be patient with all. Laziness isn’t allowed in the church, we’re all supposed to be contributing from our gifts. If someone’s discouraged, we’re supposed to look for ways to come alongside them. If someone is weak, we help where we can, and we need to be patient with everyone. That one makes me chuckle because I feel like it’s easy to get impatient with everyone at some point!

-Always pursue what is good individually and corporately, and then he goes on to list how we’re supposed to do that, and every verb he uses is 2^ndperson plural, these are things we’re supposed to do together, not individually. Is that true of us?